Regret

Now that I am a runner, I can't stand the feeling of regret. It haunts me after a bad run, it follows me like a wounded puppy moaning and whimpering in my ear... what could you have done differently? What should you have changed? Most often, its that I should have pushed through. Yah, my shins hurt, but I could have run those last 3 blocks!

When I first started running, I cared more about what others thought, how they saw me as I jogged, huffing and puffing up and down my same route, three times a week. I feel I transitioned into a "real runner" once I cared more about how I felt. I don't want to let myself down. I want to feel proud of what I just did- whether a quick 1 miler, or a new long distance, or tackling some crazy hill I couldn't even bike up before! Now, I push myself further and harder, because I want to avoid that nagging regret.

I look forward to having a lack of regret in my workouts. It pushes me, motivates me through. I know I'm only cheating myself if I don't accomplish my goal, no one else will know, but me, how that regret hangs over me.

We all have bad runs, days where our feet are 20lbs heavier, our breathing isn't right, we're on our periods (Amen, sista?). I allow myself to wallow some, but try to channel the bad run mojo into something new and more purposeful, knowing that there is a new day on the horizon, a new chance to plod forward, one foot after another, slowly stomping that regret away.