Gratitude

I skipped all forms of working out last week. I had a crazy busy first half of the week and came down with some sort of cough/throat issue at the same time. It is funny how skipping something that you want to do, even when you know it is the right thing to do, can make you feel guilty. However, exhaustion over ruled my feelings of guilt and I napped more last week than I did when my oldest was a newborn.

When Monday rolled around, I felt much better and was no longer having insane coughing fits so I figured I was set to hop back into running. I did 5 s-l-o-w miles on Monday and was sore from my efforts. I stuck to my plan (I am running 3,5,7 miles this week, not in that order though) and did 3 miles at my usual pace (still slow for most though!) on Tuesday. I am super happy to feel back on track!

While it is great to be running after a short break I read something on one of my favorite running blogs that really resonated with me. Janae was reflecting back on this book, Kristin Armstrong’s book ‘Mile Markers’. I love the idea of running while focusing on gratitude. I always think of a friend's young family member with ALS. She was a runner before her symptoms made it impossible to walk much less run. I know most of us have a special someone in our thoughts and prayers to reflect on to remind us to be grateful for the ability and opportunity to run. If you have time, check out Janae's blog and read her thoughts on the topic too. It is a great idea to focus on!

Own it

In talking with my Sole Sisters lately I have noticed one thing. Some of us are selling ourselves short!  I will include myself in this group.  I have been known to say when asked if I ran a marathon, no I "only" did the 1/2.  Well the half marathon is still 13.1 hard miles.

  Many of us feel like we need to say I  run 10 minute, 11 minute, 12 minute miles, or that we run slower,  we still all run the same miles.  We put in the work, we make time for ourselves and we do something that makes us stronger women and better moms and friends.  So I say to you fellow Sole Sisters ---Own it!  You are all wonderful beautiful strong women and I love being a part of this wonderful group.

I challenge you to leave a comment about something great you have done lately, it can be running related or it can be anything that you are proud of.

Mine is- I ran last night when it was starting to get darker, I had no GPS, I had no music, I did not even have my normal running attire on.  My husband came home and I just put my shoes on and went out the door, and I felt like I was flying.  It was  2 1/2 miles and it was not on any schedule or part of any plan.  I just went out running just to run :)

Past the slump

It had been quite a while since I ran more than 2 miles. 2.4 last month, and I walked a third of that too. 2.2 was the last distance I ran without any stopping, and that was 3 weeks ago. Yep. I was in a slump. An I-can't-go-any-farther-2-mile-slump. My goal since April has been to work my way to running 3 miles about 3 times a week. So why couldn't I get myself to go any farther? I needed help. So I turned to, you guessed it, my fellow Sole Sisters!

They had all sorts of great suggestions! More cross-training. Changing my route so I don't mentally quit when I hit familiar landmarks. Run with friends. Cheer myself on. Throw in some sprints for fun. Plus lots of encouragement that it's not just me, it's just hard to increase your mileage!

So tonight, I mapped a new 2.5 mile route (using mapmyrun.com!), met up with 2 Sole Sisters, and ran more than 2 miles! Grand total? 2.61 miles, at a slow but satisfying 12:47 minute/mile pace! We stopped briefly at the water fountain at our turn-around point, and the ladies helped me through my usual my-shoes-are-filled-with-concrete moment from about mile 1.5-1.8, and we did it! So much fun to run with good friends and smash through imagined barriers!

Here we are after our run! What a great night!

This is so Sole Sisters!

Saw this & had to post!  SO TRUE.  It's so easy to get caught up in how busy our lives are--especially with kids!!  But, we find time by making time.

Persistence and motivation

I have started running many times in my life. By that, I mean I have started a running program or routine more than once. More than twice. Probably more than 8 times in my short 30 years. I have quit for so many reasons, some silly excuses (too cold, too hot, I just want to watch that show tonight,...), and some perfectly understandable reasons (pregnancy #1, pregnancy #2, injuries,...).

But I have started again each time, even though it may be years later. To feel healthier. To reach a healthier weight. To lower my cholesterol. To have more energy. To keep up with my children's activity levels. To have time to myself. To think. To pray. To set a goal and achieve it. To have fun. To prove to myself that I can do "impossible" things. To increase my endurance.

As I have learned more about running and my body in particular over the years, I have had an easier and smoother journey starting back up each time. I know how to breathe so my side stitch doesn't make me give up. How to stretch and work on my stride to ease my illiotibial band knee pain. How to start out slowly so I don't burn out and hurt myself too soon. How it feels at the end of a great run. Where to find the best shoes for my feet. Where to find help when I'm hurting. And how to keep myself motivated to continue when the couch keeps calling my name.

As of today, I have not run in 5 days. In that time, I was up most of the night for two nights helping two mothers bring two beautiful new babies into the world. As I doula'd my dear clients this week, I was so thankful that I run. I helped a laboring mother walk up two steps at a time for 6 floors, twice, and wasn't huffing and puffing like I would have 5 months ago. I helped a laboring mother walk briskly around the hospital floor, and didn't have to think about whether I could handle another circuit. I had the endurance to rub a laboring mother's lower back for almost 5 hours continuously. And then I had the strength and energy left to come home to my family, just in time for dinner and bedtime.

I am a runner because it makes me a better wife, a better mother, a better birth doula. Running gives me the energy to live my life well.

Funk

So I have not been feeling the best lately, I have really bad seasonal allergies and this year they are the worst they have ever been.  I can not breath unless I take my medication and I hate taking medication.  It makes me feel all strange but I guess I need to breathe.  Sunday on my long run I had a bad run.  It was hot and I had to walk a lot.  I actually have not run since then because I just do not feel good.  Today I was exhausted.  The girls would not sleep last night and I couldn't breathe.  I woke up feeling like crap again.  I took the girls to preschool and I had two choices.  To take a nap or to go for a run.  It was hard I was so tired but I set out to do an  "easy" 4 miles.  I did it I ran the whole way and when I came to the bottom of the big hill before the end of my run, I found my favorite motivating running song,  "Lose Yourself" by Eminem.  I turned it up and went for it facing the hill head on, the lines "feet fail me not" and "You can do anything you set your mind to, man" stuck out to me today.  I am now sitting here post run still tired and still struggling to breathe but I feel stronger, every step, every hill helps me feel this way.  I feel like running to the top of the hill helped me out of my funk and I feel ready to run again ( tomorrow).

Regret

Now that I am a runner, I can't stand the feeling of regret. It haunts me after a bad run, it follows me like a wounded puppy moaning and whimpering in my ear... what could you have done differently? What should you have changed? Most often, its that I should have pushed through. Yah, my shins hurt, but I could have run those last 3 blocks!

When I first started running, I cared more about what others thought, how they saw me as I jogged, huffing and puffing up and down my same route, three times a week. I feel I transitioned into a "real runner" once I cared more about how I felt. I don't want to let myself down. I want to feel proud of what I just did- whether a quick 1 miler, or a new long distance, or tackling some crazy hill I couldn't even bike up before! Now, I push myself further and harder, because I want to avoid that nagging regret.

I look forward to having a lack of regret in my workouts. It pushes me, motivates me through. I know I'm only cheating myself if I don't accomplish my goal, no one else will know, but me, how that regret hangs over me.

We all have bad runs, days where our feet are 20lbs heavier, our breathing isn't right, we're on our periods (Amen, sista?). I allow myself to wallow some, but try to channel the bad run mojo into something new and more purposeful, knowing that there is a new day on the horizon, a new chance to plod forward, one foot after another, slowly stomping that regret away.