"Ugly" duckling

I began running in March of this year, mostly because it is something I have always wanted to do. I finally decided this would be my year. Having made the decision to end my baby making "career" I am making time (with no excuses!) to focus on myself and my health, wellness, and fitness. It has been incredible so far and though I have much further to go (40 to 50 lbs. to be exact!) I look forward to each and every step on this journey. The teamwork I have found here is priceless. I am thankful every day for each and every one of these ladies. They're my sisters, cheerleaders, inspiration.

You see, I am different from the rest of the girls here. I am a runner, yes- but I am an overweight one. I am not in shape yet, but I am trying. So while I am doing really well for someone of my size, my race times and my mile splits are not at the level of the others here. I have a comfortable 12 minute mile, 11 when I really push myself, and it doesn't bother me much. When I began this journey in March, I was 30 pounds heavier than I am today. My one running goal for 2012 was to run a solid 5K. Crushed it! And the other morning, I came within .7 of a mile of running a 10K. I am so, so, so proud of myself. I am not focusing on time any more, I am now focusing on endurance and working on a faster mile.

I have set a new goal now, to run a half marathon in the next year or two. I know I can do it, just as I know I can lose the rest of the weight I've set out to lose. I feel like I am on FIRE and this year I have learned that I can do anything that I set my mind to. Anything is possible if you believe in yourself and have others who push you to be your best.


So yes, I am the overweight runner here, but it doesn't bother me. I'm writing my own Cinderella story, the "ugly duckling" who WILL become a swan. Watch and see!

Move it or lose it!

I love to run. Yep, I'm one of those weirdos. I don't love being sweaty (and I sweat a LOT!) or tired or sore. But I really, really don't love how I feel when I haven't run.

Growing up, exercise was a part of my daily life. We lived in a college town and my mom didn't drive, so walking or biking was how we got around. No one in my family is what I'd call an athlete, but our leisure time always included golf or Frisbee or swimming or badminton or a family bike ride. In junior high I received the Presidential Fitness Award even though I didn't play team sports like most of my friends. I remember thinking I wouldn't be able to run a 7:30 mile - but I did!

During high school I chose to focus on music and journalism rather than athletics. I sometimes ran in my neighborhood or did exercise videos but I never had a strict workout regimen. In college, I discovered the gym. I had never been overweight or inactive but I was worried about the Freshman 15 and the gym was a great escape from the pressures of school and a difficult roommate situation. Running on the treadmill, listening to tapes on my Walkman (yes, I'm old), I was transported into my own world.

After dropping out of college I stopped exercising regularly for a while, despite the fact that I belonged to a gym. A few years later I separated from my husband and was laid off from my job shortly after that. Suddenly I had all the time in the world to exercise. I couldn't afford a gym membership any longer, but I had a pair of running shoes and a yoga tape. I spent hours each day walking or running the fantastic trails in Lincoln and doing yoga. It was a very difficult time; I was poor and lonely and my future was bleak. As I sank deeper and deeper into a depression, I struggled to lace up those shoes and get out the door, but it was the only thing that made me feel better. Following the jogging trail kept me from going down a much darker path and frankly, it saved my life.

Eventually, I went back to college to finish my degree and rediscovered the campus gym. A friend and I would often meet late at night to run on the treadmills, because it was the only time our schedules coincided. A new workout buddy convinced me to join the YMCA with her because it offered reduced membership rates for struggling students and waitresses like us. After graduation I moved to California and joined a gym near my house, enjoying the opportunity to swim outdoors year-round and hit the great running and biking trails in NorCal. I went to the gym regularly despite a grueling work schedule, and was rewarded with feeling healthy and strong and in the best shape of my life on my wedding day.

When I moved back to Nebraska, one of the first things I did was rejoin the YMCA. I got pregnant not long after moving back but I continued to do cardio and yoga on a regular basis. After having the baby, the last thing I wanted to do was exercise. I was heavier than I'd ever been, but SOOOO tired. Then depression reared its ugly head again and I knew I had to act. Although the YMCA offers childcare, my child wanted nothing to do with it. I forced myself to get up and head to the gym after the 5am feeding a few days a week, and to put the baby in the sling or stroller to walk in the afternoons when the walls started closing in. Many days, I didn't see how I would be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other. But we survived. I lost the baby weight, just in time to get pregnant again. I went to the Y religiously during my second pregnancy (and still regained the 40 lbs I'd just lost!) but I felt healthy and I knew exercise was helping to strengthen me inside and out. My second baby was born just a few hours after I completed a brisk 3-mile walk, and all that exercise allowed me to deliver - and recover - quickly and drug-free.

With two small children, it was a struggle to carve out time to exercise. My second baby didn't like Child Watch any more than my first, so I continued going to the Y early in the morning before my husband went to work. I bought a double jogger and started hitting the trail near my house. I was out there nearly every day, rain or shine, in freezing and sweltering temperatures. I avoided postpartum depression after the second baby, and my bad days were never as bad, despite there being double the amount of crying and diapers.

Now I've lost the baby weight for the last time, but I continue to run. I run because it combines two of my favorite mood-lifters: exercise and the outdoors. I run because it makes me feel strong and proud and capable. I run to maintain my sanity and to keep depression at bay. I prefer to run alone, because it's often the only time during a day when I can be alone and I am an introvert. My husband is a runner but we don't run with each other (he's much too fast, plus someone has to watch the kids!) although he ran an entire 5K by my side last year, sacrificing a better time just to support me. I like feeling connected to others who run, this secret club we carry in our heads and hearts. Maybe I'll develop some of that competitive fire that others seem to have and start signing up for races right and left. But probably not. I'm not running toward anything or away from anything or for a cause. I run just for me. I run to live.

Persistence and motivation

I have started running many times in my life. By that, I mean I have started a running program or routine more than once. More than twice. Probably more than 8 times in my short 30 years. I have quit for so many reasons, some silly excuses (too cold, too hot, I just want to watch that show tonight,...), and some perfectly understandable reasons (pregnancy #1, pregnancy #2, injuries,...).

But I have started again each time, even though it may be years later. To feel healthier. To reach a healthier weight. To lower my cholesterol. To have more energy. To keep up with my children's activity levels. To have time to myself. To think. To pray. To set a goal and achieve it. To have fun. To prove to myself that I can do "impossible" things. To increase my endurance.

As I have learned more about running and my body in particular over the years, I have had an easier and smoother journey starting back up each time. I know how to breathe so my side stitch doesn't make me give up. How to stretch and work on my stride to ease my illiotibial band knee pain. How to start out slowly so I don't burn out and hurt myself too soon. How it feels at the end of a great run. Where to find the best shoes for my feet. Where to find help when I'm hurting. And how to keep myself motivated to continue when the couch keeps calling my name.

As of today, I have not run in 5 days. In that time, I was up most of the night for two nights helping two mothers bring two beautiful new babies into the world. As I doula'd my dear clients this week, I was so thankful that I run. I helped a laboring mother walk up two steps at a time for 6 floors, twice, and wasn't huffing and puffing like I would have 5 months ago. I helped a laboring mother walk briskly around the hospital floor, and didn't have to think about whether I could handle another circuit. I had the endurance to rub a laboring mother's lower back for almost 5 hours continuously. And then I had the strength and energy left to come home to my family, just in time for dinner and bedtime.

I am a runner because it makes me a better wife, a better mother, a better birth doula. Running gives me the energy to live my life well.

You are a runner...and you and you and you!

I still have a hard time saying, "Yes, I run. I'm a runner." Instead I like to say, "I jog sometimes." or "I try to run..." or "I've done races before." I guess I just lack self confidence, but Pinterest keeps trying to tell me otherwise with all these cute little sayings:

IF YOU ARE OFF THE COUCH AND MOVING YOUR FEET AT A QUICK PACE FOR YOU--YOU ARE A RUNNER!

It's actually one of the greatest things about being a runner. Once you truly consider yourself a runner you understand that you don't feel like part of some elite 6 minute mile group--you still feel like you. You can still go a year without running and then start back up at 1/4 mile. You can go 2 miles and feel lousy or 6 miles and feel great. Either way you run. Maybe your run is more of a quick shuffle walk, but guess what? You are a runner too. It's not an exclusive group. We take all kinds. Some will be quick, some slow. Some will be short distance runners, others go the distance. BUT, if you are doing it, you're a runner.

I can vividly remember the first mile I ever ran. For most, it was in elementary school during P.E. Not me, not this non-athletic girl! In elementray school, I was walking that whole gruesome mile in the way back with the fat girl. The first REAL mile I ran (sorta ran...) was in high school. I had skipped class the day of the mile run, but my teacher made me make it up (tricky lady!). I thought I was going to die. I had heard of people running for fun & just couldn't imagine those were ordinary people.

A couple years later I started college and decided I could be one those very strange people who ran. And not running to escape something chasing them (although sometimes I do like pretending I'm being chased by zombie now after watching "Walking Dead"), but running to be healthy. To live longer, healthier, and let's face it--to combat all that drinking weight from turning 21! My husband couldn't believe-and still laughs about the fact--that I could only run 2 blocks before needing to stop to catch my breath. To me, that is not the unbelievable part. Of course, I ran out of breat right away--I'M NOT ATHLETIC...HELLLLOOOOO??! I don't do anything--except watch TV, I love to watch TV :). The thing that is unbelieveable to me is that I stuck with it. But, I came up with perfect plan:

WATCH TV. Yep, that's right. Watch TV while I run--my favorite thing with my unfavorite thing! BRILLIANT. So, I started going to the Campus Rec Center and running on the treadmills. First, I just slowly ran the commercials and walked during the shows. After building my pace, I switched and started running during the shows and walking during the commercials. By my senior year, I could run an hour without walking. AMAZING. But, I still didn't consider myself a runner.

I continued to run off & on through an out of state movie and 2 babies. I don't know why I didn't have the courage to shout out and say I'M A RUNNER. ROOOAAARRRRR!! But, I never had.

Then, I joined Sole Sisters. No judgments here, just courage and strength. It's amazing listening to all these RUNNERS share struggles & trimuphs. I'm a stay at home mom, like most of the Sole Sisters. My life feels busy. The gym is not for me at this stage with little ones and finding time to work out is hard. But, no way & no reason I can't find 30 minutes somewhere in the day if I want to. And ya know what, sometimes I really don't want to :) & I don't. But, I've started running more regularly because of this group and feel amazing. I'm a runner. Sometimes I'm good, sometimes I'm bad, but I AM A RUNNER.

Excuses

If there were a pageant for Queen of Excuses, I'm pretty sure I would be in the top three for the crown. Even a fellow Sole Sister agreed that I can find a justification an excuse for almost any situation! My biggest excuse had been that I couldn't continue running because of my husband's schedule (which there actually is quite a bit of truth to that) and I can't leave our kids alone to go. So, I told myself I would start up again once our son mostly mastered his bike skills so he could ride along with me on a trail while I push his sister. Well, that happened this week so tomorrow's the day! Now I just need to find a wide, mostly flat trail so I can't use the "there are too many hills for him to keep up" or "we can't go down hills because he freaks out and can't stop" (which is true at this point) excuses. I think the worst part of all of this is the starting over. I was up to week 5 in the C25K and had been cross-training consistently through May. Tomorrow, well, I'm starting over from the beginning and I vividly remember how that felt in March and I am not looking forward to it. Not at all! However, I am counting on my new running buddies to keep me just as entertained as they did when I used my workout DVDs in the basement! Although, I'm not sure they'll dress up as Super Heroes. Maybe they should, then the people who see us will focus on them and not me hyperventilating! :)

A New Running Experience

I am not a runner. I've never been a runner.  I'm not sure I'll ever be a runner at this point.  But my goal is to get to the point where I actually enjoy running because everyone I know who likes running seems to have this zen attitude and I could really use some zen in my life.  Currently, I run because I want my legs to stay toned and I want to keep eating dessert. Are those good reasons?  My current motto is: "I may come in last but at least I'm doing it!"

I am loving this Sole Sisters group, though!  I am amazed at how much farther I can go when I am running with someone!  So when I got a chance to visit a friend in Colorado (who is a "real" runner), I took her up on her offer to run with me.

Ignoring the fact that I had biked approximately 6 miles that morning, (with a tag-along, no less!) Julie and I set out for a late run in the beautiful Colorado night air under a waning full moon.  Sounds pleasant, right?  Well it turned out to be less so when I started running up a hill.  Ladies, 24 hrs is not enough time to acclimate to a different altitude! I was huffing and puffing before I even went half a mile.  Again, though, running with a friend made it all better--talking while running ate up the distance.  Unfortunately, I made her turn around shortly after a mile.  A 2 mile run at about a 12 mile pace.  Not my best, but "at least I'm doing it!"

I also learned that running shoes are not the best shoes for hiking.  Or at least not my current pair, which are Adidas ClimaCool shoes.  For running, they are fantastic--the name says it all.  They are lightweight and breathable, so I don't feel like I'm clomping around when I run and my feet stay dry during my runs.  Also, they fit my flat feet well because they don't have much in the way of arch support.

Looking forward to cooler Fall weather so I don't have to wait until 10pm to run!  Of course it will start getting dark sooner.  What do you wear to run at night to stay safe?  Recommend some running wear/safety gear!

Running like a new woman!

Fellow Sole Sisters and myself at the Glow Run

I am less than two weeks away from running my first 10K. I have been training for this run all summer. Admittedly, I chose an 8 week long training plan so I had plenty of weeks where I could fall behind and still have time to catch up. I have completed a 6 mile training run so I feel pretty good about being ready for the race. Pace-wise, I am less confident, but that is part of the challenge!

I started running when my youngest was nearly a year old. I completed a 3K with some friends using the beloved couch to 5K plan. I never got really into running at that time though, I had no desire to push myself. My 'baby' was not fond of sleeping and my energy showed it.

Fast forward to last October, a move and a new sleeping arrangement for my 'baby' and I was ready to push myself and really start running. The move was important because for the first time since I became a stay at home mom I had access to a gym with child care!! How amazing, right? The sleeping arrangement is not ideal, but it does involve all adults getting a full nights sleep, so I can not complain too loudly!

I just finished my first 5 mile race!
 

I am not a fast runner or even a middle-of-the-packer, I am proud to be with the final third of the runners in any race! But I do have endurance and I am really, really proud of that! I went from never running unless forced (think gym class miles and bear chases) to being able to run 6 miles without collapsing at the finish.

My future goals include completing a half marathon next year. Well, hopefully two half-marathons! My biggest goal is to not give up, but to keep going and improving.



I just keep running and running and running

1st half marathon

2nd half marathon

"try"athlon

My journey began over three years ago.  One of my best friends was doing the Beginner's Luck running program and she had signed up for a 5K.  We were talking at dinner and I thought that sounded fun and after having twins I could use to get back in shape.  I made up my own training plan, every time I ran I just ran two houses farther that the last time.  I soon could do 3 miles and was ready to go.  My friend called and decided not to do the run.  I ran it anyway.  I started out WAY to fast and had trouble counting the loops around Salt Dog stadium but I finished.  I then ran off and on until I signed up for the BIG race.  I was going to try a half marathon.  In May of 2011 I ran my first half marathon and in May of 2012 I ran my second half marathon.  I enjoy running.  I feel strong inside and out and I am amazed at how far I can push myself.  I completed a mini triathlon this summer am excited for what is next.  Run on Sole Sisters

I'm a runner?

My journey began in March. As my 4th child approached the age of 1, I knew I needed to do something for myself! I have never been a runner- ever! I swam competitively for over a decade, but running was never my thing. During the Presidential Test in Elementary and Middle school P.E. I could muster a good amount of chin ups and blasted out the sit ups like it was nobody's business, but run the mile? No way. No how. My lungs didn't like it! It hurt! Not happening. I'd end up walking in to the finish line.
I came across the fantastic Couch to 5k (C25k) program and decided, why not? I'll give it a shot, see if I can run 30min straight! (deep inside my head thinking, yah right, sister!) I totally freaked out when at Week 5, Day 3 the training called for a 20min run. No breaks. No walking. Running- the whole way through. I wanted to die! But I set my mind to it, and for once, did not give up. Suddenly, I was facing a strength I didn't know I had, a determination I thought I had lost along with my pre-baby body! I signed up for a 5k to keep as a goal and continued training. In the last 6 months, I have run up to 5 miles and typically log 10-15 miles per week. Its not a ton, but its enough or me to be proud and know that I am pushing myself beyond what I ever thought I could do. I am proud to now call myself a RUNNER!

Me crossing the finish line of my first race- a 3k! This was 3 months after starting C25k